Random Acts...
They truly can change your life.
This blog is my gift to the people who were around when I was growing up, and hopefully relatable entertainment for anyone else who has found their way here. For me, it's therapy, I put something down on paper, type it up, post it here and pretend I'm being heard and that anyone cares.
It's been handy to have when I don't want to explain myself, again, to people I owe absolutely no explanation to in the first place, especially since no matter what I say, they draw their own ASSumptions anyway, erroneous to the point of hilarity.
The assumptions have become more than simply annoying, the last one I heard was that I tried to kill myself in high school, never happened. In fact, I was doing a lot of work on myself then, I've always been self-reflective. The recent pandemic offered a lot of time for ever more self-reflection, and since I'm not "normal," I didn't look for the faults in others, I looked at my own and examined their origins.
I hold myself accountable for the things I do that are detrimental to my growth as I go along, no time to waste. I've paid for the "bad" decisions I've made, learned from them and made them good. The people I reference here, barely "family" by definition, don't know me, and the one actual "blood" relative I do have would watch me get thrown into a wood-chipper with less emotion than he would watching a half time show.
People seem to comfort themselves with the stories they've made up about me that justify my dismissal. Little do they know, they freed me. Being thus dismissed has always been freeing for me. Like the time I got locked in a trunk and it was awesome because everyone left me alone while I was in there.
It's been handy to have when I don't want to explain myself, again, to people I owe absolutely no explanation to in the first place, especially since no matter what I say, they draw their own ASSumptions anyway, erroneous to the point of hilarity.
The assumptions have become more than simply annoying, the last one I heard was that I tried to kill myself in high school, never happened. In fact, I was doing a lot of work on myself then, I've always been self-reflective. The recent pandemic offered a lot of time for ever more self-reflection, and since I'm not "normal," I didn't look for the faults in others, I looked at my own and examined their origins.
I hold myself accountable for the things I do that are detrimental to my growth as I go along, no time to waste. I've paid for the "bad" decisions I've made, learned from them and made them good. The people I reference here, barely "family" by definition, don't know me, and the one actual "blood" relative I do have would watch me get thrown into a wood-chipper with less emotion than he would watching a half time show.
People seem to comfort themselves with the stories they've made up about me that justify my dismissal. Little do they know, they freed me. Being thus dismissed has always been freeing for me. Like the time I got locked in a trunk and it was awesome because everyone left me alone while I was in there.
My lifestyle is not an affront to you, it never has been, and I'm not here to justify my existence, even if you were interested. Best thing about my amazing "Found Family" is this goes without saying. But I'll say it anyways though, so I know you understand.
Blood is not thicker than water, nor are "half blood" relatives who decided long ago you would never live up to their standards.
I don't care why they made the choices they made. The point is; I get no interest from them, never genuinely have, only ASSumptions, which at this point have become more entertaining than hurtful. I have no more interest in them, it's completely non productive.
...
This blog was born out of the series of events that led me to ending up homeless. I was homeless for five years, with my daughter. We had a roof, we never went hungry, we worked whenever we could. We don't have a lot and I'm comfortable with that despite people trying to convince me I shouldn't be.
What I heard a lot coming up was that I'd never amount to anything, by whose standards? I don't give a toss, I'm just doing the best I can with the tools I have. All that talk about amounting to nothing, all that dismissal, I want to say thanks, it freed me up to do my own thing. Being constantly underestimated and judged far too harshly did too.
I don't know where the assumptions came from because I haven't been around the people making them in decades. Nonetheless, I've come to see that the people I once trusted and thought of as family have never really known me, or haven't for many years. For some reason, rather than get to know me, they just make stuff up.
I'm not trying to say they've got it all wrong, but they've made me into a caricature of my worst traits from a young adulthood they were completely absent from. That hardly seems fair.
I wonder if other black sheep go through this. I tried to connect time and again with them but the only thing they've always been clear about communicating to me is that they don't wanna.
Never allow the limitations of others to become your limitations.
Blood is not thicker than water, nor are "half blood" relatives who decided long ago you would never live up to their standards.
I don't care why they made the choices they made. The point is; I get no interest from them, never genuinely have, only ASSumptions, which at this point have become more entertaining than hurtful. I have no more interest in them, it's completely non productive.
...
This blog was born out of the series of events that led me to ending up homeless. I was homeless for five years, with my daughter. We had a roof, we never went hungry, we worked whenever we could. We don't have a lot and I'm comfortable with that despite people trying to convince me I shouldn't be.
What I heard a lot coming up was that I'd never amount to anything, by whose standards? I don't give a toss, I'm just doing the best I can with the tools I have. All that talk about amounting to nothing, all that dismissal, I want to say thanks, it freed me up to do my own thing. Being constantly underestimated and judged far too harshly did too.
I don't know where the assumptions came from because I haven't been around the people making them in decades. Nonetheless, I've come to see that the people I once trusted and thought of as family have never really known me, or haven't for many years. For some reason, rather than get to know me, they just make stuff up.
I'm not trying to say they've got it all wrong, but they've made me into a caricature of my worst traits from a young adulthood they were completely absent from. That hardly seems fair.
I wonder if other black sheep go through this. I tried to connect time and again with them but the only thing they've always been clear about communicating to me is that they don't wanna.
Never allow the limitations of others to become your limitations.
It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.
— Paulo Coelho; The Alchemist
"It's the probability of having to settle for less that make simple things seem dreamlike."
— H. R. Maxwell
— Paulo Coelho; The Alchemist
"It's the probability of having to settle for less that make simple things seem dreamlike."
— H. R. Maxwell